Lightning Fill In The Blank

Dec 9, 2017
Originally published on December 9, 2017 10:28 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and P.J. have two. Faith has three.

SAGAL: Well, we have flipped a coin. P.J. has elected to go second. So, Paula, you are up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Breaking with decades of U.S. policy, President Trump formally recognized blank as Israel's capital on Wednesday.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Jerusalem.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following multiple accusations of harassment, Democratic Representative blank announced his retirement on Tuesday.

POUNDSTONE: Al Franken.

SAGAL: No, that was Democratic Representative John Conyers.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, sorry.

SAGAL: That was Tuesday. Franken was Thursday.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my mistake.

SAGAL: I know. It's hard to keep up. This week, it was revealed that Michael Flynn told a former business partner that sanctions against blank would be ripped up the moment Trump took office.

POUNDSTONE: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the silence breakers were named blank's persons of the year.

POUNDSTONE: Time.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, thousands of people gathered at Verizon stores to protest the FCC's vote to repeal blank rules.

POUNDSTONE: Net neutrality.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Netflix announced it would resume production of blank without Kevin Spacey.

POUNDSTONE: "House Of Cards."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in England had to be rescued by the Coast Guard...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After he blanked.

POUNDSTONE: He used his - a - he - you know, he was hunting for the submarines.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And he used his bath tub and shower cap pulled down over his face.

SAGAL: No. He had to be rescued by the Coast Guard after he fell off a seaside cliff while trying to propose to his girlfriend.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Man, who is recovering.

P. J. O'ROURKE: Did she accept?

SAGAL: Hang on. It's a romantic story. Wait for it.

FAITH SALIE: It's a cliffhanger.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I'll allow that.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: You still didn't tell me if she said yes.

SAGAL: She did, in fact, say yes.

O'ROURKE: Oh, OK.

SAGAL: They are marrying. Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got five points.

SAGAL: All right.

KURTIS: And that's 10 right. And 12 total. And, you know, she's in the lead.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. P.J., you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, officials in blank said continuing U.S. threats were making war inevitable.

O'ROURKE: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, MI5 said they successfully foiled an alleged assassination plot against blank.

O'ROURKE: Theresa May.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, House Republicans pushed through a bill allowing blanks to be transported across state lines.

O'ROURKE: Guns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Boeing said it planned to beat Elon Musk's Space X to blank.

O'ROURKE: Mars.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, astronauts announced they discovered the oldest known blank in the universe.

O'ROURKE: Star.

SAGAL: No. Black hole. Shortly after waking up...

O'ROURKE: Oh, was a star.

SAGAL: ...A Michigan man suspected...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Correctly an intruder had been in his home when he noticed blank.

O'ROURKE: The Christmas cookies and glass of milk were - had been eaten, and the stockings had been filled with presents.

SAGAL: No. He says he knew for sure that someone else had been in his home when he noticed the toilet seat was down.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: The Traverse City man who, of course, lives alone, told local police that he immediately knew something was wrong because he always leaves the toilet seat up. He quickly confirmed his suspicions after following a trail of cookie crumbs that led from his kitchen to his garage where an intruder was passed out. The thief is being charged with one count of breaking and entering and one count of helping the man avoid a fight with his girlfriend.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did P.J. do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right. Eight more points. His total of 10 trails Paula, who's still in the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

POUNDSTONE: Woo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many then does, you know, Faith over there need to win?

KURTIS: She needs five to win.

SAGAL: OK, Faith. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, blank told the House Intelligence Committee that he couldn't discuss conversations he had had with his father because of, quote, "attorney-client privilege."

SALIE: Donald Trump Jr.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Supreme Court ruled that Trump's third blank ban could go into effect while legal challenges move through the lower courts.

SALIE: Travel.

SAGAL: Muslim ban.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Australia's parliament approved legislation legalizing blank.

SALIE: Same-sex marriage.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, continued wildfires prompted the evacuation of over 50,000 people in blank.

SALIE: Southern California, Los Angeles County.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, China introduced the first ever all-electric cargo ship where they - which they announced would be used to blank.

SALIE: Transport Mu Shu pork.

SAGAL: No, to haul coal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday...

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: ...President Trump announced he was reducing the size of two blanks in Utah.

SALIE: Oh, monuments.

SAGAL: Yeah. National monuments.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SALIE: National monuments.

SAGAL: On Sunday, CVS announced plans to buy health insurer blank for $69 billion.

SALIE: Aetna.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a Belgian artist had to be rescued by authorities after he blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: Ensconced himself in a chocolate carving.

SAGAL: No, after he chained himself to a block of marble to symbolize the inescapable burden of history.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Wow.

SAGAL: Mikes Poppe is his name. He tethered himself to this four-ton block of marble almost 20 days ago with the intent of chiseling his way to freedom, representing art's conquest over human suffering. Unfortunately, 400 hours later, the performance artist had to admit to everyone watching on his 24-hour livestream that he was unable to escape by himself. And could someone please call for help?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He was eventually freed by a guy with an angle grinder and immediately rushed off to perform his next piece, which he said symbolized man's insatiable need to use the bathroom after 400 hours chained...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...To a hunk of marble. Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got five right, 10 more points. A total of 13 gives her the win by one point.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Faith.

(APPLAUSE)

SALIE: Thanks. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.