Lightning Fill In The Blank

May 19, 2018
Originally published on May 19, 2018 10:43 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Tom and Roxy (ph) have three. And Tara is leading the pack with four.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Well then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Senate passed legislation aimed at preserving blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Net Neutrality.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Israeli troops opened fire on thousands of Palestinians protesting the opening of the U.S. embassy in blank.

ROBERTS: Jerusalem.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Senate intelligence committee said they agreed that blank conspired to help Trump win the 2016 election.

ROBERTS: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Iran's foreign minister traveled to Europe in an attempt to salvage the country's blank deal.

ROBERTS: Peace - the nuclear deal.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the second time in three months, a Japanese rail company was forced to release an apology after a train blanked.

ROBERTS: Was late.

SAGAL: No, left the station 25 seconds early. This week, several new fissures opened up around Mount Kilauea in blank.

ROBERTS: In Hawaii.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report, investigators at the CDC are still unsure of what caused the multi-state blank outbreak.

ROBERTS: E. coli.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Germany responded to reports of a domestic dispute...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Arrived on the scene to find blank.

ROBERTS: A man arguing with his parrot.

SAGAL: I knew you'd know that. Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Actually, his girlfriend's parrot.

TOM BODETT: How do you know these things?

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: I'm just...

SAGAL: German police received a call from a concerned neighbor, saying that a loud fight in the apartment next door had been going on for almost an hour. They rushed to the scene. When they arrived, however, they were surprised to find a 22-year-old man having an argument with his girlfriend's parrot.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Officers questioned both the man and the bird but fear they may have gotten their story straight before the police arrived because the man said he was only trying to quiet the parrot down. And the bird repeated that story word for word.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do? I think pretty well.

KURTIS: Very impressive - seven right, 14 more points, now a commanding lead with 17.

SAGAL: All right, congratulations.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Tom, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a Senate panel released transcripts of an interview with blank, regarding his meeting with a Russian lawyer in 2016.

BODETT: Donald Trump Jr.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, elections in blank gave a boost in power to Shiite leader Muqtada al-Sadr.

BODETT: Iraq.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week in North Carolina, 19,000 blanks protested for better pay and more funding.

BODETT: Teachers.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, first lady Melania Trump underwent surgery for a blank condition.

BODETT: Kidneys.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the 2018 Wodehouse prize for comedic fiction was awarded to blank.

BODETT: Roy Blount Jr.

SAGAL: No, it was no one because none of the nominated books made the judges laugh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, the blank outbreak in the Democratic Republic of Congo spread to its first major city.

BODETT: Oh, Ebola.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man who set up a camera to film his proposal...

(SONDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...To his girlfriend also captured her young son blanking behind them.

BODETT: Mooning.

SAGAL: No, dropping his pants and peeing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The video of the...

BODETT: See, this is boys.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The video of the proposal opens with the Michigan couple and their young son standing in front of a fountain. Before long, the man gets down on one knee but not before you hear the kid say, I'm going to pee outside.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And while the proposal is happening, he's just doing that. It's not all bad news, though. We're happy to report that the bride-to-be said yes, yes, yes, just a few minutes before screaming no, no, no.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got a good score - five right, 10 more points. But his total of 13 trails Roxanne.

SAGAL: All right. How many, then, does Tara need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to win, Tara.

TARA CLANCY: All right.

SAGAL: Here we go, Tara. This is for the game. In a financial disclosure released this week, President Trump acknowledged reimbursing his lawyer for a payment made to blank.

CLANCY: Stormy Daniels.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the Senate voted to confirm Gina Haspel as the new director of the blank.

CLANCY: CIA.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FDA approved a drug to help treat blank withdrawal symptoms.

CLANCY: Opioid.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, President Trump warned that there would be consequences if blank did not agree to a nuclear deal.

CLANCY: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Three Lamborghinis parked outside a cryptocurrency conference in New York were blanked on Wednesday.

CLANCY: Towed.

SAGAL: No, they were rented by the conference to make it look like there were rich people inside.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In the first three months of 2018, social media site blank reported that it had closed over 500 million fake accounts.

CLANCY: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for "The Bonfire Of The Vanities," and "The Right Stuff..."

CLANCY: Tom Wolfe.

SAGAL: ...Author blank - yes - passed away...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...At the age of 88. This week, an alligator blocking a road in South Carolina...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Was removed by blank.

CLANCY: An old lady.

SAGAL: No, by a man wearing a chicken costume.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Logan Cambron is famous around Hilton Head Island for wearing a chicken suit and standing on the side of the road in an attempt to get speeding drivers to slow down. But even residents were surprised to see him straddle a gator, wrap a piece of cloth around its mouth and drive it to a nearby pond.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The whole thing, which was filmed in its entirety just like everything is now, isn't really impressive until you realize that the animal was actually just the guy who dresses up in an alligator suit...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...To make sure drivers wear their seatbelts.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, Tara did well. Did she do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Almost. She got six right. Her total now is 16 and trails Roxanne by one point. That means Roxanne is the winner.

SAGAL: Roxanne, congratulations.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.