Secrets, large and small, are a fact of human life. The new book, Secrets & Lies, explores the impact of keeping secrets; how they can damage our sense of self, jeopardize relationships and also the healing power of truth.
Author Jane Isay has found, people survive learning the most disturbing facts that have been hidden from them. And secret keepers are relieved when they finally reveal themselves--and things they are ashamed of--to the people they care about. Much depends, Isay writes, on the way of telling and the way of hearing.
Isay was both a secret finder and a secret keeper. After fifteen years of marriage her husband admitted he was gay, but together they decided to keep it a secret for the sake of their two sons. Building on her personal experience, sixty intimate interviews, and extensive research into the psychology of secrets, Isay shows how the pain of secrets can be lightened by full disclosure, genuine apology, and time.
Jane Isay is the author of two previous books, Walking on Eggshells, about parents and their adult children, and Mom Still Likes You Best, about adult siblings.